#also sounded sooooo fun - so you are also welcomed to look into which other themes the planet has and apply them to your artwork

[ink-ghoul]

Let's do a twist and change things a bit this year...

Welcome to #WeeklyHermittober ✨

Inspired by planets, with a couple things changed around

Prompts can have many meanings, feel free to interpret each theme as you please

Pick a theme per week or both if you are feeling like it

All art forms are welcomed

Have fun!

[troutfur]

A kit for Sandclan! Cobrakit, a short-furred ginger tabby tom

(Forgive that I'm not giving Featherstorm's reaction for this one. It's not personal, I simply have run out of fun things to write for that section.)

A TOM!!!!! YES, THANK YOU! We are severely lacking those, our gender ratio is sooooo skewed.

But anyway! Chart!

[Image ID: Under the header “What will Cobrakit’s life be like? (02/12/2023)” 16 rows of tally marks crossed out two by two until there is only 1 or 2 left uncrossed. To the left, a shield chart at the top with the following geomantic figures: Via as the first mother, Populus as the second mother, Puer as the third mother, Carcer as the fourth mother, Puella as the first daughter, Amissio as the second daughter, Laetitia as the third daughter, Puella as the fourth daughter, Via as the first niece, Rubeus as the second niece, Tristitia as the third niece, Fortuna Maior as the fourth niece, Puella as the right witness, Albus as the left witness, Carcer as the judge, and Coniunctio as the sentence. Below the shield chart, an astrological house chart with the first twelve geomantic figures above mentioned assigned to houses 1 to 12 in the order mentioned above. /end ID]

This chart's a little more evocative. Immediately I notice Carcer as the judge and Coniunctio as the sentence so some kind of restriction or bondage, whether physical or immaterial, is the overall theme of Cobrakit's life but in the end it will bring connection and community. I'm lowkey hoping this chart will look overall favorable for a leader. Cobrastar sounds so cool. Anyway, our witnesses are Puella to the right and Albus to the left. Puella and Albus are weird in opposition, the former representing emotions and putting the needs of others before one's own and the other wisdom that comes with age. Is the chart trying to tell us Cobrakit will defy the status quo? Will they stand up to the establishment in service of others? Still hoping for a leader-like character here...

Via in the first house is always a welcome sight. The symbolism of motion and change always lends itself to eventful character biographies.

Populus in the second house is also welcome because I honestly just appreciate not having to think too hard about what the association of the second house with material posessions even could mean in this setting. This is seriously the biggest weakness in the method I believe. If anyone has any suggestion for how I could work the second house more cohesively into the system, I'm all ears.

On the third house we have Puer. I know I said that interpreting Puer and Puella simply by their meanings as signifiers of the gender polarity was boring and all but. I've wanted to give more of these siblings and we are in need of more toms so... an all male litter? I'm thinking three or so.

Carcer in the fourth house is something we have seen before! Strict parenting and/or mentorship. I'm leaning towards mentorship more. I do still want to see if I can finnagle this into Cobrastar.

Puella in the fifth house which I'm choosing to interpret as Cobra will grow up to be a nurturing parent. We love to see our den dads around these parts and I'm taking any excuse I can.

Amissio in the sixth house... You know what we are missing? A character with a cool scar or something. I am picturing the loss predicted here to be perhaps... losing an eye? Once again, would make a lot of sense if we're trying to slot this chart into a potential leader.

Laetitia in the seventh house! Good family life with his partner. I like that. I like that.

Puella in the eight house. Overlaps a little with Hickorydawn's whole thing but I think if I'm already dead set on leader for this one being able to be a comfortable presence for his clan in their time of need would be good. Honestly, between Puella here and Puella in the fifth house, I'm just thinking this dude would grow up to be just a super charismatic and comforting presence in the Clan.

Via in the ninth house. We already saw it in the first house and here it reinforces the idea he had a transformation of some kind. The rest of the chart is not implying it yet, but I think I have an inkling of what I can weave with the last three houses...

Rubeus in the tenth house is where I think I can get my angle in. While the chart has been portraying him as a pretty uncomplicated and chill dude thus far, the notion that anger and positions of power are related for him is certainly interesting. I could perhaps say, could he initially ascend to deputy on the basis of being a more aggressive type than he ended up being? Was the journey in question about mellowing out? Perhaps this is how he lost that eye I decided way back in the sixth house.

Tristitia in the eleventh house we can build this up further. Tristitia, sorrow, in the house of allies and supporters perhaps refers to how his supporters will react to his mellowing out. Perhaps as he turns to a new cat he can and becomes an emotional support for his clan his old supporters will lament a lot about who he used to be.

And finally Fortuna Maior in the twelfth house. He'll have to work hard to overcome adversities (perhaps those who liked him better how he was before?) but in the end he will thrive by his own efforts.

Putting it all together:

Cobrakit was born alongside two brothers. He was apprenticed to a warrior that was very strict with him and encouraged in him an aggression that would earn him a reputation as a ferocious fighter. He even lost an eye to show for it and everything. This put him in the radar of the leader as a favorite deputyship candidate of a certain vocal faction of aggressive cats within SandClan. He of course gladly accepted but the position of responsibility began to make him rethink his approach. Particularly as the Clan came to rely on him more and he took on more of an interest in being an emotional support through the tragedies of combat and death, he began to mellow out. The faction that had initially favored him for deputy felt extremely betrayed at this but Cobra now stood up for himself on his own authority and his likability as a deputy. Along the way he found a partner, raised children on his own, and has grown quite well into his duties as deputy and, eventually, leader.

So, give it up for the leader of SandClan Cobra(strike)star!

[abyssmail]

Caerul Design Notes,

because I’ve actually put a lot of thought into creating Caerul’s aesthetic and I’m lowkey really proud of it.  I won’t get into her actual character concept/personality/backstory/etc. since this got super long, but this is how/why I made the choices I did with regards to her name and visual design!

▶ Caerul’s color scheme started off way bluer (hence the name “Caerul,” from caeruleus/a/um - “blue”/“cerulean”/“azure”/“of the sky/sea” in Latin) and less saturated, but when I gave her a (dead) twin with a red theme, I wanted them to look more alike and made both of their hair purple (although I haven’t actually done more than sketch Roseus before... he’s got purple hair and red eyes).  Purple’s my favorite color, and unnatural hair colors don’t seem to be uncommon in Orth, so why not, right?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   The red elements in Caerul’s design are meant to represent her honoring Roseus!

All of the base colors I use when drawing Caerul! They all end up looking a bit darker once they’re shaded though.

▶ As well as shamelessly using one of my favorite Latin words (I’m a Classics major, okay ;;>~>), I also tried to pick a name that sounded similar to the ones that already exist in-universe.  This was actually fairly tricky, since as far as I can tell the names in Made in Abyss have a WIDE variety of influences.  Some of them seem passably Japanese-sounding (Riko, Jiruo, Kiyui, Nanachi) disclaimer I bring dishonor to my ancestors and know 0 Japanese so this is just about vibez, others seem Western-ish (Reg, Nat, Lyza, Prushka).  Some are fairly whimsical (Shiggy, Maruruk, Mitty) while others are more mysterious and fantastic (Any of the White Whistles besides maybe Lyza).  The only common thread I could really settle on was a general fantasy feeling to all of the names.  I tried to capture that nebulous vibe with Caerul’s name, although with something so vague and subjective it’s pretty much impossible to say if I was entirely successful.  I named her siblings afterward with other Latin color words and ended up with a RGB theme lol.

▸ By the way, “Caerul” is pronounced “KAI-rool.”  It rhymes with “Hyrule.”  The ae diphthong makes an “eye” sound in Latin #TheMoreYouKnow

▸ “Caducalae” is a portmanteau of “caducae alae,” literally “falling/doomed/futile wings” in Latin (again), playing off how pointless it is to be able to fly when the Curse of the Abyss is a thing.  Originally, they weren’t supposed to work at all outside of the Abyss, but I decided that was boring for crossovers/other verses so I scrapped it.  I’m not too happy with the name since it doesn’t fit the naming scheme of the canon relics (there is no precedent at all for gratuitous Latin in Made in Abyss, which is a good thing because it’s overused in fantasy, but Latin was the only thing I was good at in high school sooooo... ^^;), but I didn’t like any of my other ideas that much, either.  “Wings of Futility” feels more canon, but it’s also kinda depressing :/

▶ I’ve mentioned before that Caerul’s build is based off of mine for art reference purposes (it’s convenient to just look in the mirror while making the pose I want =w=)b), but another reason she’s so short is that I didn’t have to make the caducalae quite as big since she’s smaller, so she can actually go indoors if she’s careful.

▶ Long hair isn’t super practical with mechanical wings with lots of bits for it to get caught in, but Caerul idolizes Lyza, so I left her hair as long as I could reasonably get away with.

▶ I heavily referenced the canon Made in Abyss character designs for Caerul’s clothing so she would fit into the world, but made some alterations to make everything more personal to her and accommodate for her wings.  In general, I lightened everything up, since she takes a bunch of short, quick trips rather than lengthy expeditions.  Her gloves, for instance, are loosely inspired by the ones we see many delvers wearing in the manga/anime, but are less heavy-duty and are convertible mittens/fingerless gloves for better dexterity with handling letters and such.  

The best close up of the gloves I could find was actually a screenshot of the aftermath Reg & Riko’s orb piercer encounter, but I didn’t want to have to tag this for gore, so you get Lyza ^^; There’s a filter over Caerul here so you can see the glove better which is why she looks kinda washed out :/

▶ Her coat is heavily influenced by Jiruo’s, since he’s the only Moon Whistle we’ve seen in canon.  

yeah, uhhhh, sorry to yoink your style my dude ^^;

▸ Caerul’s has a different color palette, a simpler lapel border, an extra set of outer pockets, and three separate panels in the back that button around her wings so she can put it on! I haven’t drawn it, but her shirt works similarly.  

This is my favorite detail about her design tbh... it’s just really satisfying what a logical solution it is for some reason???  the original doodle is off rotting somewhere in my Modern European History notes, but I tried to recreate it just as sloppily here =w=)b

▶ Caerul’s corset isn’t just a painful fashion choice - it’s actually meant to be a(n admittedly heavily stylized) brace for her back against the weight of her wings.  

▶ Since Caerul can’t wear a backpack with the wings, I had to get creative with storage options for her.  In addition to an undetermined number of pockets on the inside of her coat, I gave her these two pouches on her thighs to carry more stuff.  

I wonder how buff your quads could get carrying a significant amount of weight there...

▸ Messenger bags don’t seem super practical for delving, so I didn’t design a specific one for her to carry all the time, but Caerul does use them on occasion.  Even with that, though, she still has far less carrying capacity than the average delver, which is a problem she has to deal with when carrying out her duties!

▶ The wings/caducalae were by far the most difficult part of designing Caerul, and it took several redesigns over 2+ years before I was finally happy with them.  Their first design was deliberately far simpler in the interest of having to draw them a zillion times, but they ended up clunky and unwieldy looking: 

chonky o~O

▸ The final design is MUCH more of a pain to draw (in fact, a lot of the time I cheat and just copy and paste them from drawings I’ve already done), but I think it looks much sleeker and more “functional”.  

I also got better at making my diagrams look slightly more authentic ;0

▸ I knew I wanted jetpack-style thrusters to be a component of the wings to somewhat justify the shit I wanted Caerul to be able to pull with them (especially to eliminate the need for accounting for the damage landing suddenly could do to her ankles), but incorporating them proved to be one of the biggest problems of the design.  At one point, they were going to have a whole separate attachment point on her back, but I finally just made them an offshoot of the first “joint,” as you can see in the final design.  

A really messy intermediate caducalae sketch.  The weird double pentagon shape was meant to be the part of the relic actually fused to Caerul’s back, but I scrapped that too when I scrapped the separate limbs for the thrusters.

▸ Speaking of the joints, they’re all balls so they can rotate all over and I don’t have to fuss too much about how they move.  Likewise, the frame is metal, but I treat it like it’s kind of flexible, so Caerul can “flex” the wings open and closed.  These wings are hard enough to draw period okay I’m giving myself every excuse to be inconsistent af on purpose.

▸ The caducalae have some “bonus” features that I’ve sketched out, but that Caerul hasn’t unlocked yet, and won’t for a while.  

owo what’s this?

▸ For the wings, I think my biggest inspirations were some of the mechier Cardfight!! Vanguard dragon units (although I don’t remember which cards specifically) and the energy wings on the ninth-generation knightmares in Code Geass R2.

I’ve made a lot of OCs, and since I don’t like to use faceclaims, I’ve done a fair amount of character designing.  I don’t think I’ve ever spent as much time or had as much fun with any of them as I have with Caerul, though!  OCs aren’t always super well accepted in fandom roleplay, but the Made in Abyss community has been super welcoming and I’ve had a blast.  Thanks for listening to me gush about Caerul if you got this far, and thank you to everyone who’s interacted with her!  

The original sketch of Caerul from back in 2017.  How far we’ve come :’D

[momijis-sunglasses]

so in my post-first-two-episodes-of-furuba glow, I went home and watched the first episode of the 2001 anime again.

hoo boy.

it was FASCINATING.

it’s definitely become a little more common for the same story to receive multiple adaptations. but here we have two first episodes that cover the exact same chapter in the manga, end on the same story hook, and even have plenty of similar shots. but the overall impression and tone is incredibly different between the two. and it’s so revealing for why i’m optimistic about the new anime and have big issues with the 2001 adaptation.  

SPOILERS

-the 2019 anime has the huge benefit of knowing the entire story. starting out with a flashback to the bond first being created between god and the animals is a great idea. it gets a hint of the supernatural in there early for new viewers, and it’s giving you a visual metaphor (the ropes aka literal bonds) of one of the key themes of the series. the new anime is being made with the awareness of the rest of the series, and that’ll improve things so much. they’re already really teasing the hat, and even kyo’s beads. it’s nothing too overt, just little nudges at the viewer that serve as a fun thing for existing fans and ways to tease the mystery for new fans.

-the scene where Tohru first finds the house and meets Shigure have very, very similar scripts between both versions. and I wish I had the new version in front of me right now because I can’t provide specific examples of why this is -- but I was left with a much more natural impression from the new version. the directing is just better. I think the 2001 anime has the problem of being too abrupt constantly. it’s like nothing’s given room to breathe. in the new anime, there’s a really nice transition into a flashback (lots of flashbacks in this episode haha) using the wind chime at Shigure’s to one at Tohru and Kyoko’s apartment. and actually going into the apartment gives the whole flashback a better sense of place. this is also where it starts being really apparent how much more static the old anime is. i do think they generally did the best with what they had, but there are more pans over still frames and the characters expressions are usually flat. the new anime is 1000% more dynamic.

-which also contributes to the comedy! there’s the same funny “what do you have in there, a dictionary?”/”two dictionaries” gag in both, but it lands better in the new anime. it’s more background chatter than anything, actually, so it feels more like incidental funny dialogue. like these people just banter and bug each other on the reg. the 2001 anime makes everything more slapstick and over the top, and 2019 tones it back to something more naturalistic. which i’m happy about, because when i think fruits basket, i think dry humor more than anything.

-also! eric vale! i’ve never blamed him for this, but his performance is sooooo much better in the new anime. he was definitely a newer voice actor (like a lot of the cast) when the 2001 anime came out, but I blame a lot of the issues I had with his performance before on the voice directing. there are so many times in the old episode where Yuki sounds straight up creepy. i don’t know if they were going for mysterious, but they didn’t get there that’s for sure. he’s more regular and a bit suave in the new one, which makes sense for this part of the story. yuki’s just like.. a huge improvement between these two versions. I always felt like the director of the 2001 anime didn’t get Yuki at all. like he thought he was actually a prince and also just wanted to make a cool character so girls would swoon and buy merch or w/e. I just want Yuki to get his due as a character, dammit!

-if you haven’t watched the original in a while and have hulu or netflix, fire that shit up because the transition to school is sooooo bad. first the prince yuki fanclub and their weird chant thing... and then uo and hana’s introduction is also super abrupt and we’re just firing through these scenes real fast. the new one has the same events happen, but again, it’s more natural. no weird chant! the prince yuki club has just cornered tohru in a hallway and are berating her. a boy even walks past and is like, “yikes, bullying.” because it totally is! the timing on uo and hana to the rescue is a lot better. and i think because of that, it allows the comedy more time to develop so that’s it’s actually funny and not just confusing. also all three of them feel more like comfortable friends. like we’re witnessing their usual dynamic. since the 2001 director was always going for comedy, it almost feels more like an interrogation in the old version.

-THIS! CHANGE! IS SO IMPORTANT! so the 2001 anime races through tohru telling us why she’s living in a tent. lightspeed. we have time for the prince yuki fan club chant, but we can’t spend too much time establishing the drama of the situation. in the 2001 anime, we transition to a literal slideshow basically recreating panels from the manga while tohru monologues over it about how her mom died in an accident but she wound up with her grandpa and he asks her to go live with a friend for a while. we all know the story. the new anime, on the other hand, transitions to an actual flashback, not a still image, of tohru as a kid balancing a checkbook while she explains how her dad passed away and her mom had a tough time all by herself. it’s really sad! and it’s so much more effective to show her as an actual kid worrying about money stuff and making dinner. they also showed a heap of blood instead of a car hitting a wall to represent kyoko’s death, which... woof. and then we get an actual scene of her grandpa asking her if she can stay with a friend. which, again, gives us more time to actually feel the situation she’s in. but also works so well because he phrases it as an option for her. he says he’s worried she won’t be comfortable stuffed into a small house with a ton of people so she might be happier staying elsewhere for a while. and then tohru, OF COURSE, takes that consideration and goes to live in a tent. the transition (which is different between the two) to tohru cleaning up a storm at her job was also a moment of genuine, sweet comedy.

-yuki talking to tohru on the way home is kind of interesting, since the two adaptations treat it in kind of opposite ways? in the 2001 anime there’s that ~mysterious~ music while he tells her random zodiac facts and then silent tension (which I actually quite like) when he gives her that enigmatic “it’s not that i don’t like all cats” look. in the new one it’s a more normal conversation? like they’re just chatting. and then it turns when she realizes there’s something more to it and the music got pretty intense and there’s A Moment. i think it’s less outright sinister in the new one. seriously, i’m waiting for 2001 yuki to start monologuing about his master plan to take over the earth any time.

-shigure laughing at tohru’s tent is straight up funnier in the new one. the timing is better. also his continued laughter and yuki’s little “oh you’re done now?” was really well handled. that joke falls flat in the old version.

-and i don’t know how they do it because, again, these episodes have the same runtime and cover the same material, but this whole scene definitely feels like it takes it’s more time in the new anime. it’s not overstaying it’s welcome or anything. it’s punchy and funny and i loved seeing the characters play off each other. but even shigure opening the door to reveal the gross kitchen is given more of a beat to it, so you have a second to laugh. and him hearing the dog howling isn’t the most awkward thing you’ve seen anymore.

-since we’ve had more time to understand tohru’s situation and even her mom (kyoko is finally allowed to be herself and not Cliche Dead Mom!) through flashbacks in the new anime, tohru clawing at the dirt to get the picture of her mom is actually pretty heart-wrenching. you get it more. everything she has in the world is in that tent and she doesn’t have anything but pictures to remember her mom by. this is what i’m so excited about in the new anime. if you give more time to build motivations and drama, because you understand that’s important to storytelling, then the emotional parts will hit that much harder

-tohru telling shigure about the day her mom died! I've always loved this scene, because it's one of the few times Tohru actually opens up to someone (who's not Kyo :P)about feeling crappy. amazing what a fever can do. these two scenes are so interesting, because they're actually really similar. we get the exact same info, and some of the shots of tohru lying on the futon are basically identical. but once again, the 2001 anime does a lot more telling us what happened. some shots are obvious budget-saving measures, like an extended shot of the paper wall/door with tree shadows waving. (what room are they supposed to be in?? for some reason, I always thought that was the kitchen) (actually the reason was all the rats are behind that door) (you KNOW there are rats in that kitchen) the 2019 anime, on the other hand, goes back to those old reliable flashbacks. we get a repeated (and longer) shot of kyoko going out the door, and you realize as the scene goes on and tohru explains she didn't even wake up to see her leave that morning, that it's an imagined scene or a memory of another day. which is... oof. make me feel all those feelings, please. we also get more actual kyoko dialogue, which is always a good thing.

-I also love yuki showing up after she's fallen asleep, having overheard anything, and saying he could've left the sohma compound to live in a tent. uh, I mean, I love it in the manga and the new anime. I won't put this on the original production staff and more on the original English dub, but oh boy is yuki kind of petulant and whiny in that scene. he sounds very petty and jealous and I don't like it. he's definitely envious of her to a degree (and beating up on himself), but he's also pretty in awe I think. ANYWAY I felt the new dub fixed this, so I wasn't like, what's your problem, dude?

-yuki and the rats is still weird lol (honestly being able to "communicate" with their animal is dropped so damn fast in the manga. I only like it for the payoff of the birds running away from kureno.)

-actually, one of the only things I prefer in the 2001 anime is tohru waking up to her mom's photo right next to the futon. I love the idea of yuki setting it up there real quietly while she sleeps, knowing it's the thing she was most worried about. so cute! but one point for the new dub: i'm assuming tohru says "oka-san" when she wakes up. since it's three syllables and zoomed in on her mouth they've changed(?) it to "I miss you" in English and just stab me right through the heart why don't you!!

-it seems like everyone's saying this, but that staircase scene! it's not even really a scene. but I love it! a cramped little switchback-y staircase. this show is making me feel like i'm IN shigure's house. it's also shot cool, and the reveal of kyo in the tree is great. I love that it's not pointed out so obviously, and he's just there. (it'd be hard to miss him though)

-then of course we end on kyo jumping through the whole damn roof (he really blasts through it in 2019 haha) and everyone turning into animals. no huge differences, but I want to fast forward a little to talk about kyo. jerry jewell may be the member of the returning cast who sounds the most "similar" to his old rendition of the character, HOWEVER. there's a huge change in acting and vocal direction. it might seem like a small change, but it's not! it's really big! in the 2001 anime he jumps through that roof and says a punny line (it would take kyo 6 months to come up with that lbr) and rah-rah rages through the next few episodes when he's not acting sheepish. now he sounds much less like he's just angry and more like he BLURTS things. a thought comes into his head and BLURT it's out of his mouth. because of the increased range in emotional expression on all their faces, we can see that he seriously feels guilty and conflicted about being mean to tohru. like there is some depth there to be mined. it's so much more obvious that the people around him can easily push him to the point of blowing up, and that he doesn't feel in control of himself. I give major props to the animation team, the anime director, and the dub director (I would trust Caitlin Glass with my actual life at this point) for pulling this off. because it seems subtle! but it really is a big difference!

I used to be a pretty staunch believer that we DID NOT need another anime adaptation of fruits basket. I know a lot of people wanted it, but I really never did. I love the manga so much, and think it's masterfully done. after the original anime, I didn't want more of it. mostly, because I didn't trust anyone to do it right. a lot of the changes made by the original anime may seem "small" to many people, but what makes furuba so great to me IS all those tiny nuances. change a tiny detail, and you may have changed the whole feel of a scene or an important interaction. the manga is pretty quiet, for most of it's run. little moments build up to create a big, beautiful tapestry. so I was happy reading my manga over again and not worrying about anyone else ever touching it to bring it to moving color.

so i'd say I was likely to be a harsh judge. and I was really, REALLY impressed with what they accomplished. i'm sure there'll be some decision I disagree with later. they'll cut some scene I love or i'll disagree with the emphasis on something somewhere. but they've really built up a lot of goodwill with me. I LOVED watching these characters on screen and seeing them interact. seeing them all eat around the table together felt like coming home. like settling down for another furuba reread.

and it's all the stuff above that made me feel that way. seemingly little tiny details and differences. again, we're talking about the exact same story! it's told with almost the same lines and the same characters and many of the same jokes. but it really felt different, because of small changes. and a much better understanding of what furuba is.

[astudyblrinblack]

Depression & You

Welcome back to advice from someone who is definitely not qualified to be giving advice, giving advice! Today’s topic will be depression. More specifically, things that you can do that might help you with your depression. A bit of a disclaimer. I am not an expert in depression, I just have it. Depression is different for everyone so what works for me may not work for you! So here we go! Off on an adventure in depression land (sounds like the words theme park in existence)!

Alcohol is a no-no. I know this is probably something that most of you younger folks won’t have a problem with but alcohol is something that you should try and avoid when you are struggling with depression. Alcohol is a depressant, and when you have depression, you really don’t need anything else to make it worse. I know, this crazy person is trying to tell me that I shouldn’t have alcohol because I have depression! Well speaking from experience the first couple of drinks make you feel fine, in fact, you may even feel great! But waking up the next morning feeling worse than you did the day before is something that will mess you up. 

If you go out with friends and everyone is drinking, don’t feel obligated to drink “because everyone else is doing it”. People may call you a buzzkill or a party pooper but you can still have fun without drinking! I once went to a party that was being held in my apartment complex and I was walking around with a red solo cup filled with Mott’s apple juice (which I would walk back to my apartment to get while everyone thought I was in the bathroom). Had a blast and even got to witness my friends making total fools of themselves.

People just don’t get it. For people that don’t have/have never had depression, it’s hard for them to understand what it is like. They don’t understand that even when we appear to be having a good day, the depression is still there. They’ll read a book or an article about depression and then try to help you, which is lovely and I really appreciate that they are trying, but one WebMD search does not an expert make. I have heard it all. “You don’t seem depressed.” “But you are so happy!” “I know! I am just sooooo depressed, my wifi was down for like an hour last night!” “Since you are happy today, is your depression cured?” “Just stop thinking so much about it.” “Back in my day we didn’t have anything for being sad, we just got over it!” 

Sit down with loved ones and friends. Tell them how depression is for you. Understand though, that even if you talk to them until the cows come home they still won’t fully understand. I told my parents by writing them a letter. Every time I would talk about my depression I would start crying, feeling as though I have let them down somehow by not actually being happy all the time. After I told them I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my chest. I started to get the help that I needed with the support of my friends and family. 

Take a “me” day. I cannot stress this enough if you need a day to yourself to reset your mental state TAKE THE DAY! Mental health days are a lifesaver, in some cases it literally is. Take a day to sleep in, have a spa day, read that book you have been meaning to read, write a novel about a dog going to Pluto to start a planet of dogs! DO WHAT YOU WANT! Another tip for when you are having a bad day, tell people! Whenever I am having a bad day I will let people know that it's not the best day for me. You may get asked “why?”, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I like to hit people with the “Because I have depression and it’s not a great day.”

Medication and... Medication is there for a reason. The doctors aren’t going to force something on you that won’t help. Much like the varying types of depression, there are varying types of medication. You may have to try out a few medications to find one that works best for you. There is also a blood test that can be done to help see if certain medications will be compatible with your specific genes. Sometime medication may not be the answer. It just depends on you as a person.

...Meditation. I know I probably sound like a total weirdo but yoga and meditation is a game changer. I have several meditation apps on my phone and I try to do a meditation at least once a day. One of my favourites is Simple Habit (not sponsored). They have several meditations on there that you can listen to for free and they have ones for when you are on the go, which include ones for when you are having a tough day or you are having a panic attack! Another app that I like is Calm. It has meditations, music, and white noise. Again this one has several free options if you don’t want to pay for the subscription to all of the meditations. You might even think about taking a course at your local gym or follow along with a youtube video. 

Keep your brain busy. When you aren’t doing a lot of anything, your brain is wallowing in its depression. My doctor suggested taking some courses at an actual school instead of online, studying in places outside of my home, going for walks daily, hanging out with people that I know. Just get out and get doing something. There is nothing worse than being left alone with your thoughts for an entire day. 

100cc’s of cuteness, stat! Watch some youtube videos of baby goats jumping off of each other. Google search some kittens. Look on Instagram for all the cute animals out there! Get a little cuteness in your life to give you a little boost. Sometimes I will sit there staring at my dog or I’ll go find my cat and pet him until he runs away from me because he really just wanted to take an undisturbed nap. Sometimes a little bit of animal cuteness is all you needed to get up and do something with your day (not always but it might work).

This is the part where you would find that poster of the cat dangling from a tree branch with the words “Hang in there!” in the most generic font known to man but instead you find me, an average human (jk I’m totally an alien), telling you that you are amazing, not alone, and a total BAMF! Don’t forget that you are not the only one, there are others struggling with this too! If you need help, reach out to someone. Your friends, family, a doctor, me! I am here for anyone that needs help! If you want someone to talk to or rant about how that one kid in your math class stuck an entire eraser up his nose, I got you fam!